The wonder that is Danielle
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Jun 30,2008
“My house is stupid by itself.”
My god I love this woman.
More to come later.. 
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Red Ring…RED RING!
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Jun 26,2008
That’s right.. Red Ring x2! No it’s not the Red Ring of Death, that’s only when it’s 3 red lights on the xbox360. I have two. I called Xbox Support and they said it’s because my system is overheating, most likely due to a failing fan. Not a problem they said, I just have to send it in to them to repair and they’ll send it back. The nice part about it is that if they can’t repair it for any reason, they just send me a new one. The beautiful part about THAT is that I have an Xbox360 Elite, that I bought off of craigslist for a great price. So what’s the worst case scenario from Microsoft? That I get a brand spanking new xbox360 Elite. Sounds like a good deal to me. Best case scenario, they fix it and I get it back, with the reassurance that I have a properly working xbox360 console.
We’ll see what happens. I dropped it off at a UPS drop-off point today and I have my handy dandy tracking number with me at all times so I can check it wherever I am.
In other news, I’m going to Tucson this weekend to help out Danielle (my babydoll) with some things around the house. That’ll be fun and a great feeling that I’m helping her. I’m excited. 
I know I don’t update much anymore, because I honestly think my account with IPOWER is going to expire in the next week or so. I haven’t been too thrilled with the hosting since Bizland took over, but oh well. I have to deal with it for right now until I can afford to get my own laptop to replace my desktop computer so I can turn my desktop computer into a server. That’ll be awesome.
It got harder, but I think it just got better.
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Apr 16,2008
I talked with Danielle today, and it made me feel a lot better. I know I’m being overly sensitive about a lot of things, maybe more than a guy should be, and I’ll fix that, but I guess i’m just being fearful of losing the most important person in the world to me. That’s gotta be what it is. Fortunately though, I have a great feeling that her and I will fix whatever comes our way, because that’s what a relationship is, right? Two people that love each other that are willing to be adults and address and fix the issues that come up.
I was pretty miserable there for a couple days just even fathoming the thought of losing her. I guess you really learn how much someone means to you after going outside of a routine. We definitely got out of our normal routine of talking every day, and I think that’s what startled me so much. Especially with how things went on Sunday, it just didn’t feel any better not talking to her after all that.
I’m happy to say that her and I have talked, though, and we have both said that we want to work on this and move past it, and be happy together like we were. That’s really all I want. I honestly believe that her and I, given the chance, could still redefine what love truly is in the world. I know I already have for myself. I mean, she’s my everything. Ya ya ya I say that a lot, but it just becomes more and more true every single day. I think of the little things that really mean so much to me. When I notice that smile when I kiss her nose, or how softly her eyes are closed after we kiss. I notice her soft sighs when I stroke her hair, and those times when she holds me tighter or cuddles up in her spot on my chest. Those are the times that I live for with her. I can be enveloped in those times forever and I would be truly happy.
This is a sappy post, I know, but I had to get it out. I’m still on my eternal quest to ultimately try and explain how much she means to me. I’m sure I’ll complete that quest one day. In the meantime I get to have the fun of trying.
It’s 5:30 in the morning and I want to go home. I think I have my car appointment today to get it’s service and everything, but they never called me back to confirm, so I don’t know. It’s either today or tomorrow. Either way, it desperately needs to get fixed, because just tonight on my way to work the Check Engine light came on, and that’s never a good sign.
In other news, got accepted at the apartments that I wanted. Only problem there is that they want 1 month down as a security deposit. I mean wow, that’s a $700 security deposit! Oh well, it’s completely refundable of course, so I’ll have to ask them about that move-in special when I talk to them next. I hope they still honor it. That’s one of the reasons I wanted to move in there.
I’m cutting this post short. I’ll write more later. Maybe today I’ll actually get around to modifying the banner and everything. I need to fill those ad spots too. Don’t know what the hell I’ll be doing with those. Any ideas are very welcome!
Things have to get harder before they get better, right?
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Apr 15,2008
I’m not feeling so hot right now. The woman of my dreams wants to take a break. Not from me, but it sure feels that way. I don’t think I know what happened, but from what I can tell, I lost sight of how important sleep is for her. We were asleep, and Homer wanted to go out. I was half asleep and he was whining to get out of the bedroom, probably to go play with Kona or something, and in my half-asleep stupor, i wanted Danielle to let him out since I got up earlier and let him out. I guess somehow in my head that seemed the fair thing to do since I really didn’t want to get up either, but maybe that was a wrong choice in retrospect. I probably should have gotten up to let him out, then things would be ok.
Wow that’s odd to think about. If I let out the dog, things would be ok. That just sounds so miniscule and unimportant when it’s put like that, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. A lot of bad shit happened after that, and she ended up crying and leaving. I tried to talk to her the whole time, and tried to get her to stay, but she wouldn’t have it, and instead drove back to Tucson.
I feel absolutely awful about the whole thing. I keep adding things together in my head that just makes me even more upset and heartbroken. I mean, my heart is absolutely shattered right now, and I don’t know what to do. I love that woman more than life itself. Even in our little differences, there’s no one I’d rather spend time with and be next to at any given moment of the day than her. She’s my Delilah, my princess and my babydoll. We have the greatest fun in anything we do. This weekend just seemed to blow up in our faces. It’s horrible, but I want it fixed. I want Danielle. I want her so bad, and it feels like I can’t have her, and that kills me.
I talked to her tonight online for a couple of minutes. She says she loves me, and yet wants to take a break for a couple of days so she can focus on work. Yes I’m a little paranoid about that, but I can’t help but feel that way. It scares the shit out of me, because she’s the most important person in the world to me. My lover, my friend, and in my opinion, my soulmate.
I love her so much, so goddamn much. I hope she knows that, and I hope her and I get through this and continue on with a wonderful and lasting relationship that I know as home.
Vacation was a success!
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Mar 17,2008
The vacation to Balboa Island was awesome. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford one of those houses (average of about 4 million dollars.) but it sure would be nice. I’ll post more later after I’m not working and I’ve gotten enough sleep to function properly.
Expect pictures! Plenty of pictures!
Prepping for a vacation…
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Mar 13,2008
i’m getting very excited. I’m sitting at work right now and it’s approximately 5:45am. In roughly 2 hours I will be finalizing my plans and getting underway to a trip to Balboa Island. This excites me greatly. I’ve never been to Balboa Island. Quite frankly I’ve only been to southern California twice in my life I think. Should be loads of fun though, and there will be many pictures taken i’m sure, so be prepared for those upon my return.
So far the list of attendee’s include (but are not limited to) Brian (my roommate), Cassie (Brian’s girlfriend), Maggie (Brian’s sister), Danielle (my girlfriend) and myself. I think we’re going to meet Brian’s brother and his girlfriend there, but I’m not 100% sure, so who knows.
I just know we’re going to have a fucking blast. I know we’re only going to be gone from Thursday until Sunday, but still, it’ll be a great time. I’m not sure what there is to see out there, since I’m going into all this pretty much blind. I haven’t researched anything to do, or made any plans or anything. We’ll just have to see what happens. Playing it all by ear right now.
If anything insanely exciting happens out there while we’re on the road, I can post it from my iPhone. God I can’t wait. It’s about 6am now. Only an hour to go until I’m outta here! :) Woohoo!
The Raveonettes - Lust Lust Lust
- Filed under: Music
- Date: Mar 12,2008
I was very skeptical when I first started listening to this album. I’m so glad that I did though. The first track definitely makes you think and wonder about what’s going to invade your ears for the next hour or so. I’m so glad that I did listen to the full album though, because I’m now considering The Raveonettes an essential part of my music collection. You know why? Simple, because they don’t make sense.
Allow me to explain…
I never really liked ambient music, maybe because it was way too soft of a sound for me to truly appreciate, or maybe because I just never found a point to it at all other than getting messed up on some kind of hallucinogenic drug and lying in on the floor with it playing in the background watching all the pretty fireflys do a waltz on the ceiling. I don’t know, but I never really cared for it. However I always thought that if someone somehow put in a more grunge feel to ambient, or a harder tone, or even just shitloads of distortion, then I’d really fall in love with it. Well, The Raveonettes did it. This album’s sound is like an ambient raver chick having sex with Trent Reznor (in his pre-heronie days, mind you). It’s fucking fantastic.
Of course this is merely my opinion, but this album just doesn’t get old. I’m testing this theory right now actually, listening to it for the third (3rd) time through. It just hasn’t gotten boring. I could see how this would be a very selective album though, because not everybody can appreciate an artistic movement like this. To be fair, I could also see how someone would call this album very repetitive. It’s hard to tell when there’s a different song playing sometimes, but maybe that’s due to the fact that I got lost in the music and actually just purely enjoyed it. Yes the vocals are very monotone, but they fit. They just fit.
Overall, I highly recommend giving the album a listen. A single track in particular to suggest, though, would be ‘Hallucinations’ or ‘You Want the Candy’. Both great tracks and both are different in speed so you can get a feel for what The Raveonettes are offering you on Lust Lust Lust. I would post tracks or samples on here, but I don’t want to get sued, so go on iTunes or whatever music service you have and just spend the $.99 and buy a track or two. I say it’s completely worth it.
Here’s a minor update for ya.
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Feb 29,2008
I don’t really have any pertinent topics to talk about, but I wanted to get at least something posted on here, so here it goes:
Lately has been going rather well. I spend my weekends with Dani and during the week I work and sleep. Every now and then I’m able to get in some video games and hang out with the roommates, but I pretty much just try to get enough sleep. I don’t know what’s going on with my sleep schedule lately, but it’s been pretty messed up. Some days I’ll be so tired when I get home from work that I’ll pass out by 8am, then I’ll wake up randomly throughout the day and end up waking up at 6 or 7pm, then other days it will be nearly impossible to stay asleep for more than 2 hours at a time. It’s pretty bad. I’m extremely tired lately, so I have to do something about that.
Work is going well, I think I’m making some good contacts here, and hopefully next month or the month after they will hire me on fulltime so I can get a benefits package and tuition reimbursement. I’m really looking forward to that because I’d like to go to college and get my degree. Being stuck where I’m at right now just isn’t going to cut it a couple years down the road. I really want to stay with OneNeck, because I do like working for this company, and I’m genuinely interested in the work that I do. There’s a lot of different avenues I can take at this job, so we’ll just have to see what happens. School will have a lot to do with my decision as well.
Music is still a huge influence for me. Not as much as it used to be, but I still love it. I’d really REALLY want to get back into DJing. That was such a relaxing thing for me. Just me behind two turntables and a mixer with my headphones on. It made me focused, attentive and forced me to pay attention to detail, it was such a great mental exercise. I guess you’d have to try it to understand what I’m talking about. I was considering getting started with some DJ equipment with my tax refund this year, but then again I was thinking of getting a laptop with that money too. Damned decisions. I’ll just think about it when the time comes.
I think the wise decision would be to just spend the majority of my tax refund this year on paying off debts. Ya my credit score has increased quite a bit in the last 2 years, which is great, but it’s still pretty bad in my opinion. So ya, that’s what I’ll do. Those things aren’t going to go away on their own, so I’m going to pay them off when I get my tax refund. That will mean that I can at least get financed for a laptop or something, and since I know I make enough money to pay for one on a monthly basis, that will just help my credit even more! You see? It’s a win-win situation.
Wow, I can’t believe it’s already almost 4am. I’ll be driving down to Tucson to see Danielle for the weekend in about 3 hours. That’ll be fun. We have a great time together. I think this weekend just entails some at home karaoke (more details on that later), some wine (beer for me though, as much as I love wine I would just like to get some beer) and relaxing. We’ve both been so tired lately that I believe we both should catch up on some sleep. I know when I get there at about 9am today I’m going to be sleeping like a baby. That’s going to be great too. It always feels better sleeping next to her as well.
So about the karaoke thing. A lot of people might frown upon or even laugh at karaoke, but you know what? It’s fun. It’s a LOT of fun. Especially when you get a couple of drinks in you and you’re hanging out with your friends, then it’s just crazy fun. I dunno, it’s a good time and I have fun with it. :) Singing is a pretty difficult thing to do, and takes a LOT of practice and knowledge of the song you’re singing. It’s just not as easy as picking up a microphone and singing some words into it. You have to take into account your volume, the instrumental volume, your pitch, your tempo, if you’re on key or not, the style of the song versus your style of singing, your type of voice, etc. A lot of people believe that some people just can’t sing and never will be able to. I say that’s bullshit. Anybody can sing, it just takes determination and willingness to learn and be patient with it. Trust me, I know from experience. A lot of people said I was a pretty shitty singer back when I first started karaoke, and I mean pretty damn shitty, but the past year or so of singing people have been saying that I’ve been getting really good. So it just takes time, and you gotta keep at it just like with anything else.
Anyways, I better actually try to get some work done now, and I have a text message from Dani to respond to, so I’m gonna do that first.
The Perfect Weekend.
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Feb 20,2008
I know that word can be difficult to grasp. I mean, “perfect”, it’s such a powerful word. It can mean so many things. I think at the base of it it just defines everything you want in a single entity. It completes you, it makes you whole. Perfection can be anything to anyone, as long as it makes them complete. For grass, it could be water, or the sun. For children it could be laughing or playing. For parents it could be watching their children excel and do well in their life. It can be anything, really. If it’s in your own nature, perfect can be amassing $1,000,000. If that’s what makes you complete. So you see, perfect is really in the eye of the beholder. I know people that would be the most complete with world peace, and I know people that would be the most complete with a good book and a cup of tea. It’s just a word, but a word that means “complete” by any and all means in that given moment.
The point of all this, is because I had the perfect weekend. Yes, perfect. It made me feel whole, alive and actually not knowing what would happen next while not at all being afraid of it or curious about it. It was…well…perfect!
I had gotten off of work on Friday morning at approximately 7:00am. Danielle and I had planned on me driving down to Tucson afterwards to spend the weekend with her. It was our Valentine’s Day weekend afterall, so I was quite excited. So I was heading down there, and I had received a number of calls from her on my way. She would keep saying that she wanted me to call her when I had gotten closer, and eventually she wanted me to call her when I was in the driveway. I didn’t understand this, I truly didn’t. I didn’t know what she was up to, and even moreso I didn’t even know that she was up to anything. I get out of my car and I see this sign attached to the front door telling me to follow my heart (I didn’t get a picture of this one, I’ll post a picture of it later) so I unlock the gate and the front door and I head inside.
Once I’m inside I look down and I see some arrows and hearts on the ground. I’m being directed through the hallway and somewhere else I can’t see right now. I’m intrigued. I’m also very excited because I didn’t think that Danielle had even planned anything at all. Especially nothing this elaborate and wonderful.
So I’m following the arrows and the hearts on the ground (which are absolutely beautiful might I add) and noticing there are candles everywhere, and I turn the corner. Around the corner my eyes are immediately drawn to the doorway to the bedroom.
It’s a beautiful sight. Something quite magical actually. I didn’t know how to react. Normally I can come up with some kind of remark or something, but not this time. I just have a huge smile on my face the entire time. I look up at the door and I see what, at the time, seems like thousands of little hearts in the air.
The wonderful part about this is that at first I didn’t even notice that there were little notes written into every single heart. That’s right, every single heart had a beautiful note (that I kept of course) that was folded into an arrow and placed through the heart. I can’t even imagine how long that must have taken. That was so amazing.
I push my way through the hearts and the door opens slightly on it’s own it seems. Danielle is standing there, wearing a white shirt and shorts. She looks absolutely beautiful. She was positively glowing. My first instinct, and it was quickly acted upon, was to embrace her in a huge hug. I certainly did so, and it was amazing. I kissed her, I hugged her, and I never wanted it to stop. I didn’t even know there was more.
Yup, that’s right. She made me breakfast in bed. I didn’t even know what to say. No one has ever done that for me. She made me chocolate chip pancakes (the chocolate chips were even formed into a heart in the pancakes, so cute!) with syrup, scrambled eggs and bacon. It was awesome. Such a great breakfast. There was a bag next to the tray as well as you can see. I could barely muster the strength to reach for it as I was lying in bed because I felt she had done so much already. I brought it over to me and looked inside with Danielle lying next to me, and I pulled out a 3-CD set of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s music. This amazes me, because i LOVE Andrew Lloyd Webber. I’m very happy of course. The bag still feels a little heavy though, so I peek inside and move around the paper to see if there was still anything inside that I might have missed. I pull out a penguin. No I’m not kidding, a penguin. It was easily one of the coolest things EVER. I named him Pengu, because what’s a penguin without a little WIN? Get it? Pengu-WIN? Say it! I’m clever. 
Long story short, we watched Across the Universe (the gift that I had bought her, as well as a card, but definitely nothing in comparison to all she’s done for me thus far) because I remember her saying she’d like to get it, so I got it for her. Dang that movie was hard to find, haha. Anyways, yes we watched the movie then went to sleep. After waking up, we laid in bed for a while and eventually got up and somewhat ready for day (at an hour that people just don’t do that, haha. We blame our schedules for not having lives during the day, but we gotta sleep sometime.)
Apparently she had more gifts for me, and she leads me to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and what do I see?
Oh that’s right, she bought me Blue Moon! My girlfriend bought me beer! To top it all off, she even bought an orange, because you can’t really enjoy Blue Moon without a slice of orange to go with it. I’m so happy with my babydoll. She’s doing such amazing things for me.
I’d love to show you all a picture of the dinner she cooked for me, but I think I ate it too fast to really get any pictures of it. In any event though, she cooked me a New York Strip steak, with a twice-baked potato and steamed broccoli. Pretty much all of my favorite foods, haha. The dinner was excellent too, it was heavenly. She apparently marinated the steak for 24 hours and everything. It was so great eating dinner with her on the floor on a blanket with candles. So romantic.
Afterwards there was another surprise for me. Chocolates and wine!
We stayed up that night until the wee hours of the morning playing Karaoke Revolution and drinking that wine. I had finished my Blue Moon early in the night, and whenever drinking is involved, most likely we’ll be playing some Karaoke Revolution on the PS2. I really gotta look into just purchasing a CDG player for her house and getting some karaoke discs. That would be the easy thing to do at least, since karaoke revolution doesn’t have a huge variety of songs. :P One day.
All in all, I really love my girlfriend. Danielle is such an amazing girl, and she is my Perfection. She completes me and makes me feel like a million bucks every single day. I love her, I’m in love with her, and I’m crazy about her all at the same time.
Danielle, if you’re reading this, I love you. I love you so much. <3
Once again, why must weekends go so fast?
- Filed under: Life
- Date: Feb 11,2008
I can’t even recall most of the weekend. I think this is due to the fact that I didn’t see Danielle for the majority of it like I normally do. If I ever say something was missing from this weekend, it’s because something was missing from it. Danielle was. It feels different when she’s not around. Just because I prefer when she is. That’s not to say I didn’t have a decent weekend, though. Saturday night consisted of Brian and I going to The Horse & Hound to play in a free poker tournament. Neither of us won, but it was a good time. We just weren’t catching any cards, oh well.
Extremely early Sunday morning was me driving down to Tucson to be there when Danielle got home. It was worth it. Even if I only stayed for a day and that entire day was spent sleeping, it was worth it because I was sleeping with her.
I learned some things that I’m not happy about. Hopefully these things go away, because I don’t like them. I’m going to support Danielle though in whatever she thinks. I think it’s just because I didn’t know and I would hope that she would talk to me about things like that. I’m here for her though, and that’s what matters. I love her and I’m here for her.
I didn’t really want to write anything at all, but I figured I should, because I think it helps.
